13 posts tagged “jennifer”

Where do you go to get away from it all? 
Submitted by Hops.  

Work.  Seriously. 

First, I love programming.  There are days when I can't wait to get to work and get started on the project I am working on.  Second, there are mornings when the kids are both screaming, the cartoons are blaring, and I feel great sense of pity for my wife as I walk out the door.

Only a few weeks ago, there was such a morning and as I walked out the door for work I said, "I'm glad I am not you."

This might sound insensitive, but realize what I am saying: I recognize what my wife has to put up with and acknowledge it is harder than what I deal with on a day to day basis at my job.

I appreciate the heck our of her for what she does and puts up with.  Thanks honey!

Today was a pretty rotten day.  It wasn't the worst day, but there wasn’t much fun about it.  Today I was supposed to get off of work around 12pm so we could leave for a college graduation in West Virginia.  I received a phone call around 11am.  It was Jennifer, and she was obviously upset.  She informed me that she had suddenly been hit with horrible back pain.  After a short conversation, we hung up.  I felt awful about the situation, but she wanted to try and manage it.  It was probably less than 10 minutes before she called back and told me I needed to come home.  She said she could barely move and she wasn’t able to pick our son up off of the chair he was lying in.  I left for home as soon as I got off the phone.

When I got home, Jennifer and Grace were huddled around the recliner Logan was lying in.  Jennifer was standing there, unable to pick him up, but positioned in such a way that he couldn’t role off the chair.  It was remarkably calm.  Both Grace and Logan were quiet, though you could tell Grace didn’t know what to think about everything that was happening.  Jennifer had also called my mom and she arrived at our house not long after I got there.  Once my mom was settled in, I got Jennifer to my car and we left for the Emergency Room.  

When we got to the hospital, I helped Jennifer through the ER doors.  I offered to get a wheelchair for her to get into as soon as she got out of my car, but she said she wanted me to stay with her.  When we got inside, she wasn’t shy at all about me grabbing the only wheelchair in site.  It made getting around MUCH easier.

At one point, this elderly lady walked in with an older man I assume was her husband.  Though they both moved a little slowly, they didn’t seem to have much trouble getting around.  The elderly woman was making quite a fuss about there not being a wheelchair around for her husband to use.  When Jennifer heard this, she started to try and get out of her wheelchair so I could give it to them.  Though it may have been a kind gesture, it would have been completely unfair.  Besides, I am sure they eventually got the guy a wheelchair.  I wouldn’t know.  As luck would have it, a nurse called us back while this scene was unfolding, and that quickly put an end to Jennifer trying to get out of the chair.  Although, when I slammed the wheelchair into the narrow doorway on the way into the nurse’s office, she probably wished she had given up the chair.  After we finished talking with the nurse, she made it clear that I wasn’t to push her anymore.

No sense of adventure.  Psst…

When Jennifer was examined by the doctor, she explained that she was sure it wasn’t a bone issue, and that an X-Ray would be a waste of time and money.  It was most likely a muscle/tissue issue such as a slipped disc or pinched nerve.  She mentioned that she was going to give Jennifer a shot to provide immediate relief as well as a prescription to help at home.  In the middle of talking to us, there was this dramatic moment where the intercom started blaring some gibberish and a nurse came up to the doctor and said something to her like, “Code red.”   The doctor looked at us and said, “Excuse Me.”  She ran off and I half expected her to rip off her scrubs to reveal she was, in fact, Wonder Woman.

After 20-30 minutes, a nurse finally showed up to discharge us and had the prescription.  She didn’t seem to know anything about the shot the doctor mentioned.  All she said was, “The percocet will last longer.”  Jennifer wasn’t happy about not getting the shot, so after the nurse left, she told me to ask to speak with the doctor.  Long story made short, the nurse came back in after a few minutes and told us the doctor did want Jennifer to have the shot.  Jennifer was happy about that.

When we got home, my mom took Grace home with her to spend the night so it has just been Jennifer, Logan, and myself at home this evening.  Fortunately, Logan has been a very good boy.  Jennifer slept most of the evening, and her drugs are keeping her pretty drowsy, but she is doing better. 

Clearly, there will not be a trip to West Virginia this weekend.  I’m just thankful this didn’t happen up in West Virginia.  I think the scene would have gone something like this:

Last night we had a major break through on potty training.  When I got home from work, I was determined to get Grace to use the potty.  Up to this point, it has been an extremely trying process.  Grace would sit on her potty until she had to pee.  Once she had to pee, she would get up and start screaming to have a diaper put on.  

To try and get her to stay on her potty, I came up with an idea.  I put on Finding Nemo and told her to sit on her potty.  Whenever she got off of it, I would turn off Nemo and tell her to get back on it if she wanted to keep watching.  This went very smoothly and worked like a charm.  She never whined about getting back on her potty.  She would happily sit back on it and I would turn the movie back on.  After a while, she started to think it was a game, which was what I hoped would happen.

I was thinking if I could get her to stay on her potty and focus on Nemo, she might pee in the potty without thinking about it.  We could then praise her and reward her for peeing in her potty.  So, my goal was just to get her to stay on the potty until she peed.

After she had held her pee for 3 hours (I didn’t even know toddlers could hold it that long), I decided to get her a cup of warm water to put her hand in.  Yes, as rediculous as it sounds, I thought that maybe if she played in the warm water it might make her go.  The problem was she had no interest in playing in it.  She rarely gets to drink from a normal cup, so she was much more interested in drinking the water.  I figured it couldn’t hurt.  It would just make her have to pee worse.  

Not long after she got the cup, she started saying, “Ow.”  She was clenching her legs together and got off her potty and starting whining.  It was obvious the poor child had to pee BAD.  I tried to get her back on her potty, but she wanted nothing to do with it, as usual.  I said, “Let’s go to the big potty.”  So, Grace, still clenching her cup of water, runs with me to the bathroom.  I put her seat on the toilet, sat her on it, and she started to pee.  At first, she whined a little, but it quickly turned to a grin when I praised her for what she was doing.  She was very excited and wiped herself a dozen times before she finally got off and washed her hands. 

We put her in her high chair, gave her a fudge bar, and let her watch her favorite cartoon, Jojo's Circus.  Not long after she finished the fudge bar, she started saying, “Pada.”  That’s her word for potty.  We took her back to the bathroom and she peed again.  She clapped and giggled this time as she peed.  She had finally figured out it was a good thing to pee in the potty.  This time we let her eat some juice treats, but she came back while she was eating them and peed a third time.  We praised her again, and that was the last trip to the “pada” before bedtime.

This morning, Jennifer called and told me Grace had gone again.  Apparently, Jennifer couldn’t get Grace on the potty all morning.  Finally, Jennifer decided she would try giving Grace a cup of water to see what happened.  As soon as Grace got the water, she ran back to the potty, hopped on, and peed.  How cute is that?  I don’t even care that it is a little odd.  She is peeing in the toilet!!!   

Oh, the one other thing we are dealing with now.  She won’t wear her training pants or the panties we bought her.   She seems to want to go commando.  We have some pull-ups and she seems to wear those a little, but we’re concerned she’ll just pee in them.  I told Jennifer not to stress about the underwear thing.  We’ll focus on one thing at a time.  Besides, after months of telling her to keep her clothes on, we’ve shown her it is ok to take them off.  I think she’s just confused.  We have to teach her when it is OK to take of your clothes and when it isn’t, but we are just going to focus on the potty training at the moment.  I don’t want to overwhelm the poor child or jeopardize the progress we made simply because some people would freak out if they knew we let our daughter run around bare bottom.

Last night Jennifer and I decided to setup an appointment to go look at a couple of houses with a realtor.  We weren't sure if we're ready to buy a house, but we were ready to explore the option.  We went to look at 2 new constructions that were reasonably priced. It was sort of a gross evening to be out.  It was raining, but fortunately, it wasn't too cold.

Grace loved looking at the houses.  I think she loved the fact that there was no furniture in them at all.  She ran around like only a child can.  She would spin around and shout, "Wow!" and listen to her echo.  It was precious.

There was a bit of an embarrassing moment.  It was more embarrassing for my wife, to be honest.  We were standing there, talking to the realtor, when Grace runs up with no pants on.  The realtor thought it was funny.  We put the pants back on, but they were back off in about 5 minutes.  I decided she wanted her diaper changed.  She left her pants on after that.

When we left the first house, Grace didn't seem to care, but leaving the second house was different.  The poor kid started screaming like she wanted to stay.  I'm sure this thrilled the realtor.  

Anyway, about the house purchase, Jennifer and I spoke on the way home.  I think we have some financial goals we want to meet before we take that plunge, so it will probably be another year or two, but it sure was fun to dream.

I can’t believe it has been 6 days since I blogged something.  It doesn’t seem like it has been that long. 

The reason for my absence is pretty simple: family.  Jennifer, Grace, and Logan have been consuming all my time lately.  I am not complaining though, because that’s how it should be.  God forbid I neglect my family to blog.

Our precious little Logan.  As I’ve mentioned, he is a demanding baby.  He has been requiring one of us hold him almost constantly.  It was a bit better yesterday, but up until then, I’ve been doing my part to hold him when I get home.  Jennifer needs the break so she can get stuff done and eat her dinner without him in her lap.

Grace has been a toddler.  She needs a lot of attention and is coming to terms with the fact that we’re not running a freakin’ Burger King!  She can’t have it her way, at least, not all the time.  Lately her thing has been eating a light dinner and wanting her snacks immediately after she finishes.  Of course, she doesn’t like it when we insist she eat her dinner instead of her favorite crackers.  So, there’s been a lot of whaling and gnashing of teeth over that issue. 

Jennifer hasn’t been taking up a lot of time, but I have to make sure I don’t neglect my time with her.  I don’t know why it is so hard to make time to spend with her.  I always feel guilty when I don’t.  Just seems that when I finally have a few moments of time that I can spend on something of my choice, I get wrapped up in it and suddenly an hour or two has flown by.  That's when the guilt sets in.

So, there hasn’t been a lot of time for blogging.  There hasn’t been a lot of time for much of anything.  My Wii is still packed in a bag from where I took it to my parent’s house this weekend.  Between taking care of our two kids and doing the things that life demands, it feels my whole life is on rails and screaming down tracks at break neck speed lately.

Audio: Share a song that reminds you of a current or past relationship.

This was mine and my wife's song back when we were dating.  Every time I hear it, I remember those days in high school when I was getting to know the woman that would be my wife. It was an amazing time.  I had always been a bit shy around girls, and the way I was immediately comfortable around Jennifer is something I'll never forget.  I don't think we had a moment of silence for weeks after we met.  We almost always had something to talk about, and we got to know each other very quickly. 

Now that we are entering the seventh year of our marriage and the tenth year of our relationship, this song is still as applicable as ever. Even more so.  I am always amazed by my wife.  She is an amazing mother, and has patience with the kids that I often seem to lack.  She is an amazing wife, and is always looking for little ways to show me that she loves me. 

Maybe this post is a day late, but this is the song that reminds me of mine and my wife's relationship.

OK, so I am starting to get an idea of what this parent of two thing is going to be like:

Grace asks to have her AquaDoodle pen filled for the 700th time and cries for me to color with her.  She then cries for us to switch pens because mine is obviously better.  Two minutes after that she cries again because, alas, my pen is better.  Two minutes later she cries AGAIN because…you get the idea.  Suddenly, Logan screams because he can't figure out why his own hand keeps smacking him in the face.  I rush to help the poor boy only to have my daughter whine at me for not promptly exchanging my pen with her.

There is a lot of nudity around here at the moment.  I'll be sitting on the couch and glance over at my wife only to see her boob hanging out of the nursing bra yet again.  Whether it is feeding time or pumping time, I am seeing a lot of her boob lately.  Usually this would be a good thing, but as any man can tell you, there is something mortifyingly creepy about watching a woman put a device on her breast and having it suck milk from her like she is a cow.  I actually called my wife "Cow Girl" and lived to tell the tale.  

Time to go.  Grace has taken her pants off and Logan is ready for Cow Girl to come into the homestead. 

The third night at home with Logan has come and gone. So far he is sleeping better than I am. Last night he only woke up at 2AM and 6AM. Unfortunately, I only slept an hour between those times. Part of the problem is he is a noisy baby. Not noisy in a fussy sense, but he makes some weird noises that my daughter did not. First, he occasionally snorts (or does something that sounds like a snort) when he is breathing. We ask the people at the hospital about this and they said it was normal. It occurs randomly, so it tends to startle someone who is trying to fall asleep. I am still getting used to it. Second, he squeaks. Apparently this is a family thing. My mom said I did the same thing. She said a woman heard me at the hospital and said I sounded like a mouse.

Noisy Logan wasn’t the only issue though. I got worked up because I had to go back to work today. Honestly, I was so stressed out last night about not getting enough sleep and being tired at work that I didn’t get enough sleep and will be tired at work. How’s that for irony? I remember the exhaustion we experienced with Grace. Our bed time was around 8:30 or 9:00 PM when our daughter was a newborn. You had to go to bed that early to assure you got a decent sleep between the feedings and changings. Even though my wife breast feeds (which makes me pretty useless come feeding time), I still wake up when the baby cries. With Grace I eventually got to a point where I would sleep through entire feedings, which isn’t a fact I am necessarily proud of, but it happened. I remember one morning I was excited because I thought Grace had slept through the night. Apparently the only person that slept through the night was me.

Hopefully this won’t make me sound horrible. I am a lucky man. Jennifer wants me to sleep because she knows I have to go to work the next morning, but I am not so sure this is the best way to handle things this time around. When Grace was our only kid, I knew Jennifer could just stay in bed and sleep while I got up and went to work, and she did. Grace slept fairly well as a newborn, so it worked. Having two kids makes this situation trickier. Grace is going to wake up between 7 and 8 AM no matter what Logan does the night before. We are going to have to get into a new rhythm this time around, because we need to make sure both of us are getting the rest we need. The trick will be finding the balance so that neither one of us is constantly exhausted.

We can’t really work on this yet, because we only ordered a breast pump the day before we went to the hospital.  Since my boobs don’t produce milk (last time I checked), Jennifer is flying solo with feedings until that gets here.  Hopefully Logan will have settled into a routine by the time the pump is here.

I’ll get the exciting news out of the way first.  Our son will be born on January 26, 2007, assuming he doesn’t decide to come early. 

When people hear we are doing a repeat c-section, they react differently.  Some people think it is smart and safe.  Those are the people that understand the risks.  Then there are the people that have other things to say about it.  These typically come from women that have had children naturally.  The far worst comment Jennifer got was when she recently got her haircut.  The woman cutting her hair, to the shock of everyone in earshot, told my wife she needed to “push that baby out her vagina.”  Apparently, another employee apologized to my wife for the lady’s comment.  I personally hope the woman is no longer employed, but that is probably just the protective husband in me talking.

The alternative to a c-section is called a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section).  The doctor made a couple of points about doing a VBAC.  First, there is a 20-40% chance of a c-section needing to be performed anyway.  Secondly, there was a small (but real) risk of Jennifer’s uterus rupturing and that would endanger her life as well as the life of the baby.  The doctor clearly wanted us to do a repeat c-section, but was also very clear in that it was our choice and we could do whatever we wanted.  We researched it for a few weeks and once we determined that a repeat c-section involved less risk than a VBAC, we felt the choice was clear.  It would have been easy to let emotion dictate what we did, but we decided to base the decision on facts.

The worst part of a c-section is how some women treat women who have had them.  I’ve come to the conclusion that women don't have much business complaining about how competitive and macho men are.  We are macho over dumb stuff.  Who can throw the ball the farthest?  Who’s the fastest? Who’s got the biggest penis?  But the way you women get macho about childbirth beats anything I’ve ever seen.  You brag about how hard and long your labors were.  You brag about how easy it was to squeeze the baby out your enormous vagina.  You brag about how you didn’t get the epidural. You brag about the pain, the tearing, the bleeding, and anything else you can think of that was unpleasant about the experience. And then you tell woman that undergo major surgery that they did it the "easy way”.  I know I am generalizing here, and maybe we just meet all the wrong people, but this comes from a man that is sick and tired of hearing about how c-sections are the “easy way”.  It wasn’t easy on my wife, it wasn’t easy for me and it wasn’t an easy decision to decide to repeat it.  I don’t believe c-sections are more difficult then natural birth.  I think both are hard and it depends on the situation as to which is tougher, but it doesn't matter.  No one should feel like more or less of a woman because of the situation they had to endure to bring their child into this world.  What matters in the end is that the baby and mother are healthy.  The road that gets you there isn’t important.

Today is my wife’s birthday.  I am a lucky man on many levels.  There is so much I could say about her, because I appreciate so much about who she is and what she does.  

First, I appreciate that she is a good partner.  I’ve seen controlling woman and they frighten me.  I pity the men that live with them.  I am fair on this though, because I also pity the woman that have to live with controlling men.  I don’t think a marriage is a dictatorship.  Jennifer and I make decisions as a couple, and I am so thankful we are able to do that.  We get into arguments, but we’ve learned to make compromises and when it is best to just give the other one what they want.  I am thankful I am married to a woman that views marriage as a partnership, and doesn’t try to control me or change who I am.  

I also appreciate that she is a good mother.  She has to help me keep my patience in check.  My wife is generally an impatient person, but, by the grace of God, with our daughter, she has all the patience in the world.  I have to work at that, because my impatience does not discriminate.  I thank God my wife is around to remind me my daughter is only a being a kid.  It is very easy to lose patience with your child and get frustrated when they aren’t doing anything but simply being who they are: a child.

I appreciate that she is a good a housekeeper.  I’ve been to the houses where the first thing you think when you walk in the door is, “What's that smell?”  Unless Grace’s diaper has just been changed, you won’t have that experience in our home.  I don’t always show my wife how much I appreciate her taking care of our home, but I know that I do.  I think men don’t really have a problem appreciating what our wives do so much as we have a problem expressing it.  Groping and telling our woman how “hot” she is our idea of expressing gratitude, but I’ve found out that, apparently, isn’t enough.

Finally, I appreciate that she is a good person.  My wife has a huge heart and genuine compassion and concern for others.  She can’t be around those who have needs and not want to do something.  After all, one cannot be a good partner, a good mother, and a good wife if they aren’t at their core a good person.  Being good at all of these things requires that you often but yourself and your own desires on the back burner for the sake or your husband, family, and friends.  It is something my wife does all the time, and is something she never complains about.  I am thankful for that, and hope to make today as much about her as possible.

I love you honey, and happy birthday!